The King & I: Observations and a Question Answered

Wow! The last few weeks have really opened my eyes to many things about marriage, sex, and the roles of men and women. Let me start by saying that I have never in my entire life studied Song of Songs…ever. It has been very revealing, pun intended. I mentioned this in the first sermon I preached from Song of Songs and I want to get it to you again; a great resource on Song of Songs and one that ever married couple should have is Intimacy Ignited by Dillow & Pintus. It is a great commentary and study guide through Solomon’s song. Seriously, if you as a couple went through this study together it would change your marriage.

Another reason my eyes have been opened, is because of your response. The questions, the high fives (not just from husbands btw), and the “thank-yous” reiterate the need for this biblical, God centered study. This study has long been overdue and right now I’m trying to figure out how we can offer this material on a more regular basis (A.B.F. Class or small group).

For just a moment I want to clarify something that I said on Sunday, February 22nd about the purpose of marriage. I posed the question something like this: “What if God designed marriage to make us holy more than to make us happy?” The idea being that while many people seek marriage as a means to happiness, they discover that happiness is just one of many emotions that can fill a marriage. One cannot base one’s marriage purely upon the idea of happiness. So what does that leave us with? Well what about holiness? That whole line of thinking is addressed in the book, Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas, again another resource that every married couple should read. The bottom-line being that in the covenant of marriage we learn in a very hands on way, about God and in turn grow in our relationship with him. Marriage can be a very effective tool in developing holiness.

So after talking about the purpose of marriage in my sermon, here was one of the text message questions I received:

"So, can we be holy without getting married? Doesn’t Paul say it’s better for people who can survive without getting married to not get married?"

This is a good question. Let me start by saying, we are made holy by the power of the Holy Spirit when we submit our lives to Jesus Christ and enter into a covenant relationship with him. Then by choosing to follow the Holy Spirit’s lead and being obedient to Jesus we continue to live within that holiness. So marriage on it’s own doesn’t make us holy, it’s simply a tool to help us be holy. When I love my wife unconditionally, I’m learning more about God and his love for me. When I serve my wife, I’m learning how God serves me no matter what. When my wife extends to me grace and forgiveness when I don’t deserve it, I learn more clearly about the grace and forgiveness that God has extended to me. Marriage is a tool to help us understand and grow in holiness.

So what about the single person? So if marriage is such a great benefit why would Paul say that it’s better to not be married? Paul is right in that more can be done for the Kingdom of God if one is single. Quite frankly it takes a lot of time and energy to be married and effectively honor the marriage covenant. So where does the single person pick up a tool to help them develop holiness? The church. The church family is a covenant relationship, and in almost every way it demands like marriage, unconditional love, patience, forgiveness, service and grace. Just another great reason to be a part of a local church family, without it you are going to struggle to become all that God planned for you to be.

Question from the King & I Series

In the Song of Songs message series I've been doing, I have revived the text message questions at the end of the message. Here is a question that I was not able to answer after the message. Let me set up the question a little bit. I was talking about becoming "one flesh" (Genesis 2:25) and how the focus of marriage is to become one in everything. To become one a husband and wife must be able to "both be naked, and feel no shame." (Genesis 2:26) There has to be a level of transparency and honesty in a marriage relationship for oneness happen.

So with that background, here is the question:
"Is there ever a point in a marriage where you can reveal too much?"

You're going to love my answer; "Yes and no." Obviously, the goal of marriage is to move towards oneness. However, it takes time... a lot of time. There was a study done that revealed it takes on average nine years to move from "me to we" in marriage. Selfishness dominates that first years of marriage and it's really not until year ten that some marriages can really start to grow towards oneness. Sadly, a lot of marriages never make it that far.

So the truth is there may be be things that you can't reveal to your spouse (maybe ever), your goal however is to work towards a point where you can "drop the fig leaf" and be transparent with your spouse. It also matters why you tell them. The goal of revealing truths is to bring about oneness not to separate. So the apostle Paul's words need to be our guide as we approach who and what we reveal to our spouse. "Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that it, Christ." ~ Ephesians 4:15

So to answer the question, yes there are points in marriage where too much information is probably not the best. However, it should be the goal of marriage to move towards a level of transparency and honesty where you can speak the truth in love.

Mark Driscoll's CNN Interview: Sex & Religion

My Son Alex's Baptism

Resources for The King & I: A Love Story from the Song of Songs

I wanted to provided some extra resources for those of you who are going to be a part of the new message series I'm launching this weekend at IC-Church of Christ on the Song of Songs. One of my main resources is a book entitled, "Intimacy Ignited." It's a combination book in that it is a good commentary on the Song of Songs as well as a good Bible study guide for couples. I would highly recommend all Christian couples add this book to their library. It is very helpful.

The second resource is an actual message series preached by Mark Driscoll, the preacher at Mars Hill Church in Seattle. This last fall Mark preached through the Song of Songs and did a fantastic job. In doing so the church set up a web page with all the sermons available. If you would like to pick up even more biblical insight into the Song of Songs (he preaches for about an hour) this web site is a great resource. The message series they did was called "The Peasant Princess" and can be accessed here.

Hopefully these resources will help you out as you journey through the Song of Songs. In the weeks to come I will be posting text questions I receive during the message. So check back periodically to see what questions people are asking and what God's Word has to say abou them.

God Keeps Rockin My World

God is doing some amazing things here at IC Church of Christ! Sometimes I just shake my head and say, "God is good!" because I know it's not me and all Him. For the last month I've been playing the role of nurse for my lovely wife Suzi as she has been recovering from major knee surgery. Everything with the recovery has gone well and we are almost back to normal.

During the last month my schedule has been anything but normal...I've been more nurse then parent. My routine was thrown off big time and needless to say that can be frustrating. But in those moments of frustration I was able to find peace in what was most important (taking care of my wife and family) and that God would take care of the rest.

Well during the month of January God has rocked my world. Not only has He taught me a valuable lesson about peace, but He continues to work some amazing things here at IC Church of Christ. We had the second largest attendance month (the largest was in September) since I've been here...in January of all the months! Then to top it off we came in $14,000 under budget for our building project. Just another incredible sign that God is working. All of this when I was the least available for the church and the most available for my family. Do you see why all I can say is, "God is good!"

So what have I learned from all of this? Jesus' words ring true,
"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness and all these things will be given to you as well." ~ Mt 6:33

The King & I: A Love Story from Song of Songs

I'm about to do something crazy and insane, for roughly 10 weeks we are going to study in depth the Old Testament book of Song of Songs. To say that I’m a little bit nervous about the whole idea is an understatement. Talking about marriage, sex, the roles of men and women is just a little nerve racking...especially if it borders on PG-13. Thankfully, the Bible says a lot about those subjects and I won't have to rely on my wisdom but God's. So why undertake such an endeavor? We are going to do this study because it’s long overdue and we desperately need to hear what God’s Word says about those subjects.

Let me explain. In our day, people devote an extraordinary amount of time, money, and energy in pursuit of sex, making it the most popular religion in the world. God tells us that people attempt to satisfy their thirst not by drinking from his streams of living water, but instead by drinking from man-made toilets (from Mark Driscoll's translation of Jer. 2:13). This disturbing metaphor rightly describes our culture’s current thirst for smut and sin. In Romans 1:24–25, the Apostle Paul says that people either worship God their Creator and enjoy his creation—including our bodies—or people worship creation as God, and in sexual sin offer their bodies as living sacrifices (which is the definition of worship in Romans 12:1). Paul goes on to explain that those who worship creation invariably worship the human body because it is the top of God’s creation. In this mix up of rightful worship, sex becomes a religion and the sex act a perverse sacrament.

Christians throughout history have struggled to determine how this can be done. Some have chosen to essentially kill their sexual desires out of a fear of temptation to sin. Some lead destructive lives of secret sin that are eventually exposed, causing much embarrassment. Still others are simply confused and uncertain of how to speak to their spouse and children about sex, unsure of what is compatible and incompatible with the teaching of Scripture.

The study of the Song of Songs is meant neither to kill our desires nor permit them to flow into deadly sin. Rather, this series is an attempt to cultivate our desires and channel them toward our spouse according to the wisdom God gives us in his Word. We will learn about gender, dating, marriage, and sex as God intends. I tell this to you for two reasons: 1) Please be in prayer over this whole series—for me, for you, and for whoever attends that morning. This series can be life changing. 2) Make every attempt to attend each week of the series and or listen to the message on line. You are going to have you eyes opened…I guarantee it.

Sermons I Listen To

On Sunday I was emphasizing Jesus' teaching regarding "hearing the word and understanding it" (Mt 13:23) and how important it is to immerse ourselves in as much of the Word of God as possible. I shared four practical ways to do this:

1) Read/Listen to the Bible. There are many good, readable translations available as well as a number of dramatized audio Bibles. Remember, 5 minutes in God's Word is better then 0.

2) Get to church. A good preacher works to make the Bible practical and relevant to the listener. Your regular attendance provides you with a great resource that can really help you come Monday morning.

3) Listen to sermons online/podcast. As a preacher of God's Word, I'm dependent upon other preachers to encourage me and feed me the Bible in a practical and challenging way. In the message on Sunday it told you that I would share some of the preachers I listen to. If you are a subscriber to iTunes you should be able to type in these names and find their sermons. Click on the "Subscribe" button and the sermons will load on to your iTunes player automatically. If you don't have iTunes you can probably Google the names and find their sermon sites. Here of a few I listen to, or would recommend:
- Andy Stanley (North Point Ministries)
- Southeast Christian Church (Dave Stone/Kyle Idleman)
- Erwin McManus (Mosiac Church)
- Perry Noble (NewSpring Church)
- Rob Bell (Mars Hill Church)
- Ravi Zacharias (Heavy Stuff - For you deep thinkers out there)

4) Read some good Christian literature, there are so many great resources available. Obviously some are better than others so in a future post I'll list out some good books that you might want to check out.

A Little More of Grace & Peace in 09

There is a phrase that the apostle Paul uses to open most of his letters,

“Grace and peace to you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.”

It’s a phrase that often flies under the radar—probably because one doesn’t really settle into paying attention until one is past the greeting. However, Paul’s greeting of “grace and peace” is loaded with all kinds of good stuff. So much so that I’ve decided to use the theme of “grace and peace” as a focus for my 2009. Why? Well, simply put I could sure show more grace and live with a little more peace. Let me give you an example.

While Suzi was in surgery (my wife Suzi recently had knee surgery) I was in the waiting area…waiting, when in came a weird dude with his wife so she could check in for surgery. I say weird because he was walking around pretending to read the Braille on all of the signs, he was just flat out being weird. So upon seeing this guy I had entirely written him off just because of one thing I saw him do—I didn’t extend to him much grace. Well, guess what happens? This man’s wife end’s up having almost the same identically surgery that my wife Suzi had, with the same exact surgeon. Oh, it gets even better. Later that day after Suzi had been settled into her room we find out that she is going to have a roommate and you guessed it, it was this strange guy and his wife! And who says that God doesn’t have a sense of humor? But here is the kicker, the guy’s name is Tom.

Now when all of these things were coming to my attention I was immediately reminded of the sermon I had heard the day before from Sunday (Sunday Goshit had preached for me the day before) about remembering that everyone is made in the image of God. This man was made in the image God and I had chosen to not to extend grace to one made in the image of God—and someone to whom God had chosen to extend grace to. I had seen one moment in a man’s life and had written him off…like I knew his whole story. So not only did I not extend him grace, but I was not at peace with him. Why did his actions bother me so much? He may have been acting weird but I do too.

Do you see why I need more grace and peace in my life? Do you see why the apostle Paul opens so many of his letters with the phrase, “grace and peace?” How can Christ followers be influencers in this culture if we are going to look at people and assume we know who they are? How can we as Christians share the grace of God with the world if we are not able to extend grace with the people that we come in contact?

So the next time you meet a person on the bus, in your favorite store, at work, or sitting next to you at church (don’t be shocked, it will happen) remember that you don’t know their whole story. There is a reason why they are doing what they are doing. Instead of classifying them as strange, weird or just plain crazy why not instead extend to them grace and live at peace with who they are.

“Grace and peace to you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.” ~ Philippians 1:2

The Positive Impact of Sports

Our culture worships the athlete and the sports star. This worship is demonstrated each week as thousands gather in their shrines, temples and churches of sport to heap praise upon their chosen deity. Couple this with the outlandish salaries and out-of-sight tickets prices and it is clear to see that we have created an obvious lack of priorities in our land. A place where a teacher makes a few thousands dollars a year to educate the minds of children and a football player earns multi-millions for catching a football and doing a funky dance.

However, I still love sports. I love the conflict, the skill, the mental toughness, and the stories that come out of it when people embrace what sport and competition is all about. Case in point is a story written by Rick Reilly over at ESPN.com called, "Outpouring of Faith." Take a moment and read it...maybe even with a tissue nearby . You will be glad that you did.

OUTPOURING OF FAITH

Many beliefs, many paths to heaven?

This recent article from USAToday reveals that our culture is becoming a "whatever" culture. Believe, do, or think "whatever" you want just as long as it doesn't affect me. Here is an excerpt from the article.

By Cathy Lynn Grossman, USA TODAY

Most American religious believers, including most Christians, say eternal life is not exclusively for those who accept Christ as their savior, a new survey finds.

Of the 65% of people who held this open view of heaven's gates, 80% named at least one non-Christian group — Jews, Muslims, Hindus, atheists or people with no religion at all — who may also be saved, according to a new survey released today by the Pew Forum on Religion & Public Life.

FAITH & REASON: A 'crisis' for evangelicals?

This means 52% of Christians do not agree with the doctrines many religions teach, particularly conservative denominations.

Albert Mohler, president of the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary, Louisville, calls the findings "a theological crisis for American evangelicals. They represent at best a misunderstanding of the Gospel and at worst a repudiation of the Gospel." (You can read the entire article here.)

I guess Jesus didn't know what he was talking about when he said, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." ~ John 14:6. As long as I breathe I am going to tell people that there is one way to God and that is through Jesus. I don't say that because I'm mean. I don't say that because I hate. I don't say that because I'm not gracious or forgiving. I say that because it's the truth.

What I Learned From My Recent Doctrine Series

I wanted to share a few thoughts with you regarding what I learned during this recent message series on doctrine. I know, I know. I’m the preacher and I’m supposed to have it all together and know everything about God, the Bible, and all the Christianity stuff. The truth is, I’m just like you. I’m still building a foundation for my faith. You might be shocked at how long I wrestled with what to say on some of the topics. I can tell you honestly, working on this series strengthened my Christian faith. On the flip side, I was surprised at some of the questions you asked via text messages. Not because the questions were bad, but because I had assumed everyone already understood. All in all, I learned a lot about myself, and I learned a lot about you. So with that in mind, I wanted to share with you some of the things I learned from the doctrine message series. Also, I would love to hear what you learned as well (or even didn’t learn). If you get a chance, jot them done and e-mail them to me or drop them off sometime.

So here’s my list, in no particular order.

· The more I study about God the more he blows my mind. It was so difficult trying to describe God and the more I tried the more frustrating it became, and quite frankly I think that’s the way it’s supposed to be. I will tell you this, my worship of God increased the more I studied who He is.

· Life is all about Jesus. A question I kept coming back to the forefront as I went through each message week by week. It was this: What do you believe about Jesus? Everything about life hangs on how you answer that question.

· I still don’t totally get the Holy Spirit and maybe that’s the way it’s supposed to be.

· I need to spend more time in the Bible.

· I was surprised at how many Christians struggle with forgiving themselves.

· I better understand the justice of God. God’s holiness, grace, and love are huge but His justice/ranks right up there too.

· My understanding of salvation was reaffirmed as I studied what the Bible says. There is only one way to be saved and that is through God’s gracious gift of Jesus. However, people are not always in agreement on how one receives the free gift of Jesus. The relatively easy exercise of looking at what the New Testament says about the words, “salvation,” “save,” and “saved” was extremely profitable in reaffirming what I believe. If you haven’t had a chance yet, you need to go to www.Biblegateway.com and do a “key word” search on each of those words and compile the verses for yourself. Believe me, you will be glad that you did.

· What you believe about Jesus affects how you live. For example, if you really believe that Jesus is Lord then you would want to serve him in anyway possible.

· I was reminded about my own mortality. I don’t stop and think about it enough. I know that sounds weird, but when I used the coffin for the message on Heaven and Hell it was a powerful reminder about how short life is and it helped me to prioritize my life better.

· The church is literally the body of Christ. We are to carry on his ministry.

· A lot of people are really close to making decisions for Jesus. Whether it’s a first time decision to accept him as Savior and Lord or a decision to be obedient to what he wants them to do.