Trust

The last month here at the Steele household has been quite trying. My wife Suzi has had a series of physical setbacks that have left her basically helpless. Without going into great detail, it has been a combination of severe back pain and vertigo caused most likely by a viral inner ear infection. It has really been a bizarre experience...and quite honestly we are not out of it yet. Truth be told, it feels like it will never end.

I have had many moments to think over the last few weeks and today I made this observation about trust. There is this hymn that I have sang off and on for most of my life that goes, "Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus, just to take Him at His word..."

Considering all the pain that my wife is going through, and all the prayers that we have prayed for God to intervene, and to see this pain and suffering drag out day after day, I have concluded that it may be easier to NOT put your trust in God.

"Why?" you may ask. Well, when bad things happen and you do not believe in God or any gods for that matter, you can write it off as maybe bad luck or karma. But because I believe in God and trust Him, I have to factor through a number of different scenarios to try and make sense of what is going on.

"Was it something that I did?"

"Did I say the wrong thing?"

"There must be a hidden sin in my life somewhere."

Believe me, all this questioning can become quite tiresome and I would love to just dismiss everything as just a bunch of bad luck. But because God loves me I choose to enter into the unknown, full of questions, looking for hope. It was in these moments of searching in which I stumbled upon a memory.

In the spring of 2005 my son Alex had a serious infection in his lymphoid. It was very painful and we had to take him to the hospital. While in the hospital they had to put in an IV to start the antibiotics his body desperately needed to heal. Kids and needles usually don't mix and so Alex was not coping well with the situation. To make matters worse, they were having a difficult time getting the needle in his vein. So Alex is screaming bloody murder from the pain and confusion, and so I hold him tight and say, "Alex, you are going to have to trust me. The only way to get better is to let them put this IV in." It took a lot of convincing, and a lot of hugs, and some force, but finally the nurse got the IV in and the healing began.

It was in that difficult moment that Alex really learned to trust me...he got better. As much as I would like to dismiss this pain and confusion it's in the confusion that I am finding trust. When bad things happen don't walk away from them or try to blow them off. Instead walk into them and maybe...just maybe you might get a glimpse of the Father. Believe me, you can trust Him.