Question from the King & I Series

In the Song of Songs message series I've been doing, I have revived the text message questions at the end of the message. Here is a question that I was not able to answer after the message. Let me set up the question a little bit. I was talking about becoming "one flesh" (Genesis 2:25) and how the focus of marriage is to become one in everything. To become one a husband and wife must be able to "both be naked, and feel no shame." (Genesis 2:26) There has to be a level of transparency and honesty in a marriage relationship for oneness happen.

So with that background, here is the question:
"Is there ever a point in a marriage where you can reveal too much?"

You're going to love my answer; "Yes and no." Obviously, the goal of marriage is to move towards oneness. However, it takes time... a lot of time. There was a study done that revealed it takes on average nine years to move from "me to we" in marriage. Selfishness dominates that first years of marriage and it's really not until year ten that some marriages can really start to grow towards oneness. Sadly, a lot of marriages never make it that far.

So the truth is there may be be things that you can't reveal to your spouse (maybe ever), your goal however is to work towards a point where you can "drop the fig leaf" and be transparent with your spouse. It also matters why you tell them. The goal of revealing truths is to bring about oneness not to separate. So the apostle Paul's words need to be our guide as we approach who and what we reveal to our spouse. "Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that it, Christ." ~ Ephesians 4:15

So to answer the question, yes there are points in marriage where too much information is probably not the best. However, it should be the goal of marriage to move towards a level of transparency and honesty where you can speak the truth in love.